Welcome to the sound section of Carl Crazy. We've compiled an amazing 68 sounds
of our man Carl. The sounds have all been transcribed for your convenience. Enjoy!
africanamerican.mp3
Carl: Oh, I am so sick of everybody assuming I'm good at basketball because I'm african american. :::hear Carl jam and smash backboard:::: Go Carl, Go Carl, it's my birthday, it's my birthday. Three-peat! You got mail, babay.
airconditioners.mp3
CBG: Oh please. If I wanted to hear mindless droning, I'd befriend an air conditioner.
Moe: Oh great. Now he's raggin on air conditioners.
Carl: Hey, they keep us cool in the summer, pal.
Lenny: Get him!
ancient.mp3
Duffman: What beverage, brewed since ancient times, is made from hops and grains?
Lenny: How about... ancient hop-grain juice? ::::Hear muffled 'beer'::::
Moe: Wait, Homer's trying to make a guess. :::more muffles and then Homer turns on tap:: Hey, what're you doing? You're getting some kinda booze all over me...
Duffman: Time's up! The answer is 'beer'.. Ooo.. Duff-luck..
Carl: I never would've figured that out.
Lenny: That's the kinda thing you just gotta know..
awnuts.mp3
Smithers: Lenny.. and.. Carl..
Carl: Aw nuts.. I mean.. aw nuts...
ball.mp3
Homer: Your wife don't understand you, but I do...
Lenny: Ha! Homer's singin' to his ball again.
Carl: Yeah, and he's bowlin' a 280!
Lenny: Oh yeah? There's a kind of hush... all over the world.. tonite..
bill.mp3
Carl: So what happens now? Is the food free or do we pay someway?
Lenny: Of course not! They send ya a bill.
Carl: Well, that's why I asked. That's how you learn, by asking.. you dumbass.
broom.mp3
Apu: Get away from my store you young hoodlums.
Homer: And what if we don't, pops?
Lenny: He's got a broom!
Carl: Lets get outta here!
Moe: I got the pennies, go go!
Manjula: You promised me no more brooms.
Apu: I know this is not your way, but we're in america now.
casual.mp3
Lenny: No bag boys are gonna stop Lenny from having a casual get together.
Carl: Casual?!
coffeebreak.mp3
Homer: So uh.. what do you guys think of Mindy?
Carl: Seems ok. Anybody see the game last night?
Homer: Yeah.. that Mindy seems real nice.
Lenny: Homer, what's with you? You're talking during a coffee break.
Carl: Yeah, usually you just take the box of donuts into the bathroom.
Homer: Mindy has a motercycle.
coffeemug.mp3
Lenny: So, is that your usual coffee mug?
Carl: Yup.
Lenny: Huh. Looks a little bigger.
Carl: It's not.
computer.mp3
Homer: Maybe.. but you don't know Lisa. She's so smart they hooked her up to a big computer to try and teach it some things, but she had so much knowledge it overloaded.. and then it got really hot and overloaded.
Carl: That..uh.. never happened, did it Homer?
Homer: Uh. yes... but now I have to leave on a totally unrelated matter.
contest.mp3
Grimes: Hey look everybody! Simpson's in a contest for children!
Lenny: Hey Shhh..
Carl: You're makin us miss the contest!
Burns: Would you explain your model young man?
Grimes: What's to explain?! He's an idiot!
Lenny: Pipe down!
Homer: Well, basically I took the plant we have now. Then I added some fins to lower wind resistance, and this racing stripe I feel is pretty sharp.
Burns: Agreed. First prize!
Grimes: What?!!
Lenny: Way to go Homer!
Carl: You're number one Homer!
Grimes: But.. but this was a contest for children!
Lenny: Yeah, and Homer beat their brains out!
cow.mp3
Homer: Woohoo! Go SU!
Carl: A&M is gonna kick your ivy covered butts!
Homer: Yeah, well you went to a cow college.
Lenny: You only call it a cow college because it was founded by a cow...
dance.mp3
Homer: I know a lot of people badmouth you and how you suck. But not me. To me you're true blue.
Carl: Aww.. thanks big guy.
Lenny: Now dance, rummy.
dank.mp3
Moe: It seems nobody wants to hang out in a dank pit no more..
Carl: You ain't thinkin' of gettin' rid of the dank, are ya Moe?
Moe: Ahh.. maybe I am..
Carl: Oh, but Moe! The dank! The dank!!
die.mp3
Lenny: Carl, let me die first. I couldn't bare to watch you die.
Carl: Well.. okay but hurry up.
drink.mp3
Moe: You know I can't sell ya any beer until 2 on account of it's Sunday.
Homer: If you can't sell beer, then what are Lenny and Carl doing here?
Carl: What? Oh, we're watching the sun move across the sky.
Lenny: When it gets to here, we can drink again!
drunk.mp3
Carl: Homer, quit wallowing in self pity. Pull yourself together and come get drunk with us..
duff.mp3
Moe: Lemme buy ya a drink.
CBG: Very well. I will have a shot of cranberry schnapps.
Moe: Heh.. well, these are just painted on there. Your choices are beer and uh.. eggsokins.
CBG: I'll pass. Beer is the nectar of the nitwit.
Carl: Hey, you knockin beer?
Lenny: Nobody badmouths duff! Ah.. piece of crap..
duffman.mp3
Duffman: Hey, dufflovers. Does anyone in this bar love duff?
Carl: Hey, it's Duffman!
Lenny: Newsweek said you died of liver failure...
Duffman: Duffman can never die. Only the actors that portray him. Oh yeah!
dumbasses.mp3
Homer: You're always pointing that shotgun at us.
Lenny: And calling us dumbasses.
Carl: Which we are so not.
email.mp3
Homer: No one told me the plant was closed.
Carl: Didn't you get the email?
Homer: What's an email?
Lenny: It's a computer thing, like an electric letter.
Carl: Or a quiet phone call.
Homer: I don't have a computer.
Lenny: Too bad. That's why you're at work, and we're living it up on our day off..
emptybar.mp3
Carl: Moe? What're you doin' here?
Moe: What am I... My bar is empty is what.. Why ain't you guys there?
famous.mp3
Lenny: Yeah, didn't ya know? You've been world famous for an hour now.
Carl: You're the internet's number one non-porno site!
Lenny: ..which makes you ten-trillionth overall.
fight.mp3
Burns: What a disgraceful display. I've seen more orderly behavior in a Ritz Brothers Film. You all need a serious lesson in teamwork.
Carl: Maybe he does but I don't.
Lenny: Hey.. you take that back!
Carl: No, you take that back! (start fighting)
Homer: Hit em Carl! You too Lenny!
gay.wav
Homer: I want everyone to know that this is Ned Flanders, my friend!
Lenny: What did he say?
Carl: I don't know. Something about being gay.
genius.mp3
Lenny: Way to put us out of work, genius.
Carl: I can't feed my family with a cod piece.
getout.wav
Homer: Ah! I'm stuck.. Help me!
Carl: He's done for!
Lenny: Let's get out of here!
hear.mp3
Lenny: Did you hear something?
Carl: No.
Lenny: Did I?
Carl: I don't know...
hey.mp3
Burns: Let's keep the laughs coming, eh Simpson? Lets say I make you my executive in charge of recreation? No, better yet! My prank monkey!
Homer: Will you keep giving me money?
Burns: I can't have my little monkey running around in rags..
Homer: Woohoo! :::Hurls pudding:::
Burns: What are you doing, man?! That's Carl!!
insane.mp3
Carl: Oh yeah, if I didn't have inner peace, I'd completely go psycho on all you guys all the time.
intervention.mp3
Lenny: We were gonna have an intervention.
Carl: Yeah, but at the planning party, I got alcohol poisoning. ::laughs:: I nearly died! ::laughs::
Moe: I was already making excuses not to go to your funeral! ::laughs::
jesus.mp3
Carl: You know, I was hexed by a troll and a leprechaun cured that right up.
Lenny: Hey you know what's even better is Jesus. He's like.. 6 leprechauns!
Carl: Yeah, but a lot harder to catch. Go with the leprechaun.
jinx.mp3
Lenny: Miss Miss! Sorry, I was calling the waitress. This split you sold me is making me choke!
Homer: Lenny...
Lenny: What?! I payed 7.10 for this split!
Carl: Will you at least call it a banana split you dumbwad?
Lenny: Spare me your gutter mouth!
job.mp3
Grimes: I've never seen him do any work around here. I mean, what is his job?
Lenny: Safety Inspector.
Grimes: That irresponsible oaf? A man who, by all rights, should've been killed dozens of times by now?
Lenny: 316 times by my count.
Grimes: That's the man who's in charge of our safety? It.. It boggles the mind!
Carl: It's best not to think about it.
jobs.mp3
Lenny: That's right brainiac. You cost us our jobs, which we need for working!
Carl: Not to mention driving to.
Moe: And I was a lot happier before I knew Dame Edna was a man. A lot happier.
kiss.mp3
Lenny: Even Bart was throwing dough around. He paid me and Carl a thousand bucks to kiss each other!
Carl: Hey, did we ever get that money?
lennyandcarl.mp3
Lenny: Hmm... I'll pick... Carl.
Carl: Lenny and Carl. I kinda like the sound of that.
mail.mp3
Carl: Hey Lenny, sending some outgoing mail?
Lenny: You know it!
Carl: I'll probably send some tomorrow.
Lenny: I hear that!
majic.mp3
Carl: That's it?!
Lenny: Yeah, I gotta magic bat too.
Carl: And I got an enchanted jockstrap! (they both laugh)
Homer: Yeah, just watch!
marsupial.mp3
Homer: That motion capture suit is just what this country needs. Just think of all the hilarious motions that are going uncaptured! Like this! See, now wouldn't you love to see that move performed by a cartoon opposum?
Carl: An oppossum capering around like that would be a smash hit!
Lenny: That would be the world's funniest marsupial.
Homer: You're right. That suit gizmo could be worth billions! And I'm gonna get a piece of the action.
Carl: So does he still work here, or what?
moo.mp3
Moe: Ah, that's great. Thank you! Thanks alot! I just wanna say that it was an honor to compete with the Mik, and the chick with the rack there.
Carl: Yeah!!!
Lenny: That's my moo!
mrx.mp3
Carl: I wish Mr. X was here.
Homer: Oh I don't know Carl. He might be closer than you think.
Carl: Are you him? Are you Mr. X?
Homer: No!
Carl: But you talked in that real sly voice. Hey, hey everybody! Homer's Mr. X!
Homer: No I'm not. Or am I?
Lenny: Are you?
Homer: No!
muhammed.mp3
Lenny: If you ask me, Muhammed Ali in his prime, was much better than anti-lock brakes.
Carl: Yeah, but what about Johnny Mathis versus diet pepsi?
Moe: Oh, I cannot listen to this again!
name.mp3
Carl: Could you imagine us working there? The whole Carl Crew?
Lenny: Hey I thought we were called Lenny And The Jets?
Moe: Ah you're both wrong. We're the Moe Syzlac Experience featuring Homer.
naptime.mp3
Homer: (Screaming)
Marge: Oh no!
Carl: Sorry Mrs S, he kinda disrupted things at work!
Lenny: Yeah he ruined naptime and quiet time.
navy.mp3
L.T. Smash: Yeah.. It's a three pronged attack. Subliminal, liminal, and superliminal.
Lisa: Superliminal?
L.T. Smash: I'll show ya. Hey you! Join the navy!
Carl: Uh, yeah, alright.
Lenny: I'm in!
pervs.wav
Carl: I always figured Marge would be a dynamo in the sack.
Lenny: Oh boy! She's got legs from here to ya-ya.
Carl: Good evening ma'am.
Lenny: Hope this evening finds you well.
quarter.mp3
Lenny: Oww! Take it out, take it out! Ahh! Put it back, put it back! That was a close one. Wanna go bowling?
Carl: Maybe you should see a doctor about that quarter in your brain.
Lenny: Maybe you should mind your own business. Afternoon miss.
radio.mp3
Lenny: Hey Carl, turn up the car radio.
Carl: Why not? Anything goes today.
raise.mp3
Carl: Burns looks happy today.. Watch me take advantage of his good mood. Uh... Mr Burns. Can I have a raise?
Burns: Clean out your desk, you're gone.
Carl: Well, I had a good run..
rattlesnake.mp3
Lenny: Homer, if I may compliment you.
Homer: Yes, go on.
Lenny: That is one hansome rattlesnake you got on your arm there.
Carl: Yeah, that's quite fetching, but aren't you worried about the deadliness?
Homer: Nah.. He'll get tired of biting in an hour or so.
rehearsal.mp3
Homer: Alright guys, 1 2 3! Moo?! Lenny, you were supposed to be E!
Carl: See what happens when you skip rehearsal?
relative.mp3
Moe: Am I really that ugly?
Carl: Moe, it's all relative. Is Lenny that dumb? Is Barney that drunk? Is Homer that lazy bald and fat?
Moe: Oh my God it's worse than I thought.
Carl: See, this is why I don't talk much.
rem.mp3
Homer: (singing) Leonoid whatsis name. Herman Munster Motorcade. Birthday party Cheetos. Pogo sticks and Lemonade. You symbiotic stupid jerk, that's right Flanders, I am talking about you!
Lenny: How'd you get REM to play in your garage?
Homer: I told them it was a benefit. They think they're saving the rainforest!
Carl: Suckers!!
sandwiches.mp3
Carl: According to the map, the cabin should be right here.
Lenny: Hey, maybe there is no cabin. Maybe it's one of those metaphorical things.
Carl: Yeah! Maybe the cabin is the place inside each of us created by our goodwill and teamwork.
Lenny: Ohhh.. Nah.. They said they're would be sandwhiches.
shortshorts.mp3
Lenny: Who likes short shorts?
Carl: I like short shorts.
Richard Gere: Those guys are way off...
signup.mp3
Lenny: Homer, slow down! You're gonna choke or something!
Homer: Don't tell me how to eat donuts! (chokes)
Carl: Hey, Homer's chokin' again.
Lenny: Hmm. Isn't there a first aid chart up around here somewhere?
Carl: Somebody scare him!
Guy: That's for the hiccups!
Lenny: Hey, look at this. Softball starts this week.
situps.mp3
Carl: Hey Richard, in 'An Officer and a Gentlemen', did you really do all those sit-ups?
Richard Gere: I wish. I did one and they showed it a thousand times.
snorky.mp3
Dolphin: Snorky...talk..man (coughs) I'm sorry let me start over, years ago dolphins lived on the land.
Moe: What did he just say?
Carl: He said dolphins used to live on land..
Moe: Whhhaaaa?!
Dolphin: Then your ancestors drove us into the sea, where we've suffered for millions of years.
Marge: But you seemed so happy in the ocean, all that playfull leaping...
Dolphin: We were trying to get out, it's cold and wet, every morning I wake up flemmy.
snugness.mp3
Carl: Hey you know what I'm looking forward to? The future. Have you heard about this inter-net thing?
Lenny: Internet?
Carl: Yeah it's the inner netting they invented to line swim trunks. It provides a comforting snugness.
spit.mp3
Lenny: If they hire a woman we won't be able to spit on the floor.
Carl: And we can't take off our pants when it gets hot.
Homer: And we won't be able to pee in the drinking fountain. I mean, like.. if we wanted to. Not that I ever.. did.
supervisor.mp3
Carl: I'd give him my blood except for one thing.
Lenny: What's that?
Carl: I don't wanna.
Homer: I can't believe you guys! There's a human being out there with millions of dollars who needs our help. And you don't wanna cash in? That's why you losers are stuck in this crummy dead end job.
Carl: Uh Homer, I am your supervisor.
Homer: Sorry sir.
tan.mp3
Carl: Hey, there's something different about you Homer.
Lenny: Yeah.. looks like ya got a tan or something.
Hibbert: I know what it is, it's a new tie.
thorn.mp3
Moe: So Lenny, say you pull a thorn out of the Pope's butt, and he grants you one wish. What'll it be?
Lenny: Only one, huh? Well, I've always wondered what it would feel like to wear something that's been ironed...
Carl: ::whistles:: That'd be sweet.
unjam.mp3
Lenny: Lousy Germans can't fire me, I'm the only one who knows how to unjam the rod bottom disociator.
Carl: Well, the can't fire me. I'm the only one certified to run the gasious contaminate particular file.
Homer: Well, they can't fire me.
Lenny and Carl: Why?
wackyname.mp3
Lenny: Check out the overheard scoreboard (Laughs)
Carl: Heh. Poo. Uh, Homer, what wacky name do you want?
Homer: Are Poo and Ass taken?
Carl: Yeah.
Homer: Damn! Can my life get any worse?
waste.mp3
Homer: Awww... this is the worst day ever.
Lenny: Hey Homer, what gives?
Homer: Mr Burns is making me eat all these drums of toxic waste.
Carl: Geez, that's rough. There must be 2, 3 hundred gallons in here.
Lenny: And even a teaspoon could cause a fatal tumor.
Carl: Hey, you wanna come bowlin with us tonite?>
Homer: Okay.
words.mp3
Carl: Gee uh, when you talk about that school your voice fills with uuh.. what do you call it, human feeling.
Lenny: Yeah maybe you should um.. what's the expression? Go back there!
Moe: What's the word I'm searching for uummm... Yeah!
worst.mp3
Burns: These two gentlemen are as american as apple pie. Hans and Fritz, well, that's just John and Frank.
Quimby: Ich bien eine Springfielder.
Carl: Oh this ain't good.
Homer: We could all lose our jobs.
Marge: Look at all those worried faces. Except for Lenny, he looks great!
Lenny: This is the worst day of my life.
