Season 12
Homer vs. Dignity
pudding.mp3
Burns: Hurl this, at that!
Homer: At Lenny? But he's a war hero!
Burns: Then lets decorate him.
Homer: No!
Burns: Not even for.. four dollars?
Lenny: Ahh.. My eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!
Burns: That was capital. My lung is aching.
Homer: I liked when I threw the pudding..
Burns: Do it again, I'll make it an even 8.
Homer: You're the boss.
Lenny: Oowww.. I'm in hell!
The Computer Wore Menace Shoes
email.mp3
Homer: No one told me the plant was closed.
Carl: Didn't you get the email?
Homer: What's an email?
Lenny: It's a computer thing, like an electric letter.
Carl: Or a quiet phone call.
Homer: I don't have a computer.
Lenny: Too bad. That's why you're at work, and we're living it up on our day off..
radio.mp3
Lenny: Hey Carl, turn up the car radio.
Carl: Why not? Anything goes today.
famous.mp3
Lenny: Yeah, didn't ya know? You've been world famous for an hour now.
Carl: You're the internet's number one non-porno site!
Lenny: ..which makes you ten-trillionth overall.
mrx.mp3
Carl: I wish Mr. X was here.
Homer: Oh I don't know Carl. He might be closer than you think.
Carl: Are you him? Are you Mr. X?
Homer: No!
Carl: But you talked in that real sly voice. Hey, hey everybody! Homer's Mr. X!
Homer: No I'm not. Or am I?
Lenny: Are you?
Homer: No!
Treehouse of Horror XI
dolphins.wav
Lenny: Alcohol and night swimming. It's a winning combination. Uh oh! Sharks, the assasins of the sea. Oh.. You're not sharks. You're dolphins, the clowns of the sea. Oww.. Hey, what's to get? Owww!!!
rattlesnake.mp3
Lenny: Homer, if I may compliment you.
Homer: Yes, go on.
Lenny: That is one hansome rattlesnake you got on your arm there.
Carl: Yeah, that's quite fetching, but aren't you worried about the deadliness?
Homer: Nah.. He'll get tired of biting in an hour or so.
Skinner's Sense of Snow
dayoff.mp3
Bart: Oh everyone's off but us.
Marge: Oh stop. Your father and I don't get the day off.
Homer: Lenny says we've got the day off! Yippee!!
hurtfeelings.mp3
Guy #1: I am sick of your jobs about the wardrobe, you can dress yourselves!
Guy #2: Now folks, he's got a point. With all of our unscripted horseplay..
Homer: Lenny, are you watching this? They really hurt that guy's feelings!
Lenny: I know...
HOMR
coffeemug.mp3
Lenny: So, is that your usual coffee mug?
Carl: Yup.
Lenny: Huh. Looks a little bigger.
Carl: It's not.
genius.mp3
Lenny: Way to put us out of work, genius.
Carl: I can't feed my family with a cod piece.
jobs.mp3
Lenny: That's right brainiac. You cost us our jobs, which we need for working!
Carl: Not to mention driving to.
Moe: And I was a lot happier before I knew Dame Edna was a man. A lot happier.
marsupial.mp3
Homer: That motion capture suit is just what this country needs. Just think of all the hilarious motions that are going uncaptured! Like this! See, now wouldn't you love to see that move performed by a cartoon opposum?
Carl: An oppossum capering around like that would be a smash hit!
Lenny: That would be the world's funniest marsupial.
Homer: You're right. That suit gizmo could be worth billions! And I'm gonna get a piece of the action.
Carl: So does he still work here, or what?
Pokey Mom
backproblem.mp3
Lenny: So Homer, you think you can fix my sciatica?
Homer: I don't know what that is, so I'm gonna say yes. Now go limp.
Lenny: I'm limp.
Homer: 1, 2, better not sue. Uh! (pushes Lenny over garbage can)
Worst Episode Ever
airconditioners.mp3
CBG: Oh please. If I wanted to hear mindless droning, I'd befriend an air conditioner.
Moe: Oh great. Now he's raggin on air conditioners.
Carl: Hey, they keep us cool in the summer, pal.
Lenny: Get him!
duff.mp3
Moe: Lemme buy ya a drink.
CBG: Very well. I will have a shot of cranberry schnapps.
Moe: Heh.. well, these are just painted on there. Your choices are beer and uh.. eggsokins.
CBG: I'll pass. Beer is the nectar of the nitwit.
Carl: Hey, you knockin beer?
Lenny: Nobody badmouths duff! Ah.. piece of crap..
Tennis the Menace
rink.mp3
Homer: Hey, this was a lot of fun guys.
Lenny: Yeah, we never knew nobody with their own tennis rink!
bill.mp3
Carl: So what happens now? Is the food free or do we pay someway?
Lenny: Of course not! They send ya a bill.
Carl: Well, that's why I asked. That's how you learn, by asking.. you dumbass.
New Kids on the Blecch
navy.mp3
L.T. Smash: Yeah.. It's a three pronged attack. Subliminal, liminal, and superliminal.
Lisa: Superliminal?
L.T. Smash: I'll show ya. Hey you! Join the navy!
Carl: Uh, yeah, alright.
Lenny: I'm in!
Hungry Hungry Homer
sweetduff.mp3
Lenny: The teams been horrible since it was bought by that cheap and heartless duff corporation. Hey Moe, gimme a duff. (drinks) Oh yeah. Sweeet Duff.
Simpsons Safari
casual.mp3
Lenny: No bag boys are gonna stop Lenny from having a casual get together.
Carl: Casual?!
Children of a Lesser Clod
lennyandcarl.mp3
Lenny: Hmm... I'll pick... Carl.
Carl: Lenny and Carl. I kinda like the sound of that.
pickfrink.mp3
Lenny: Hmm... I'll take Professor Frink.
Frink: You won't regret it my good man, what with the passing and the dribbling and my shoes made of the flubber, and away I go, it's frighting, ow that was painful and the flubber is burning, my feet.
Simpsons Tall Tales
hearme.mp3
Moe: Wait a minute, where's Lenny?
Lenny: Hello? Can anybody hear me?
Willie: I think I've found a way out. It's not pretty, but it'll do.
mrpopular.mp3
Homer: When I'm crushing and killing you, you don't like me. But when I can save your life, suddenly I'm Mr Popular.
Lenny: Yeah, that's pretty much it.
Homer: Woohoo! I'm Mr Popular! (giggles)
